Every found yourself planning your yearly round of Whole 30 only to find that the creator of the tortuous program that you love to hate has slid into your DMs? Well I did. And maybe it didn’t go quite that way, but this is my site and if we’ve learned nothing from human history, its that the person that writes the book makes the facts. In reality I may have slid into hers first at the nudging of a mutual friend who knew Melissa was newly engaged but that version doesn’t make me feel as good as the new one. Either way- I was literally planning my yearly bodily torture when I somehow found myself booking the goddess and power house human CEO, Best-Selling Author, Mother of Dragons that is Melissa Urban.

You always hear horror stories of regular folks meeting famous or extremely successful people and being so disappointed to find that they are total and complete assholes. Melissa is the antithesis of asshole. She is one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met and I refuse to let her leave my life. Her husband Brandon (I will argue with anyone who tells me he doesn’t look like Hugh Jackman) is a Self Improvement and health expert in his own right and together, the two of them spend their free days hiking through picturesque wilderness scenes with their hot bodies and their cute dog, Henry (an IG influencer all his own).

Melissa and Brandon exchanged vows in the middle of the Utah desert surrounded by their immediate family. Melissa’s little boy walked her down the aisle andthe DJ of a local radio station, who subbed in last minute, guided the nuptials. It was simple. It was meaningful. It was hilarious. It was real. Just like them.

I almost made it through the day without embarrassing myself. Almost. During portraits, a piece of sand blew into my eye, scratching the shit out of it and requiring Melissa’s dad to repeatedly flush my eyeball in the bathroom during charcuterie. Not my finest moment but I couldn’t have been more cared for.

Melissa and Brandon- I don’t know how I ended up getting so lucky as to walk this day with you but I am truly honored to know you and call you friends.